


Homewrent

by PolychromeVirus



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Canon Compliant, F/F, F/M, M/M, Other, at least i try to be, oops it's all OCs, pls dont hate me
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-06
Updated: 2018-12-02
Packaged: 2019-07-27 06:22:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,538
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16213289
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PolychromeVirus/pseuds/PolychromeVirus
Summary: Technically speaking, the beta kids weren't the only ones to play the game. What if there were other successful sessions out there on earth?A hypothetical, "what if i played sburb" fic





	1. Homewrent

**Homewrent.**

A young man stands in front of a smoking crater where half his house used to be. Today, the 13th of April, just so happens to be the release of a highly anticipated beta for a new game, a game that would soon end the world.

####  **Be the boy**

Your name is NATE and your house just exploded… or um… disappeared? You’re not sure what just happened actually. The last thing you remember you were playing a game with your brother and a bomb appeared, then you and your brother looked at each other with what you assume he assumed was silent agreement because soon after that he disappeared. The timer on the bomb then started ticking down from 12 hours… Luckily your brother left you SOME instruction, you gotta make sure everyone else plays. Obviously, all this meteor business is some really immersive ploy to separate the starting players to add to the challenge. Well, you guess it’s your job to get the rest of the players into the game.

####  **Call your server player**

What are you crazy? Your bro was very clear that you have to _complete_ the chain, that means you gotta enter last. You will still call her though because she will have to enter soon (after some of your friends handle their own shenanigans) and also because she is your wife and you love her very much.

####  **== >**

You ring the wife. What she says. You say you need her to get home, it’s time for the show to get on the road. So to speak you say. She says she knows. She asks if you’ve looked outside recently. You say no why would you have looked outside recently. She says that’s what normal people do. You say oh. She says there’s meteors falling outside. You say oh again.

####  **Peek outside.**

Through the massive hole in your wall you spy a glimpse at the night sky… Yup those are definitely meteors falling, that would be mildly concerning if this wasn’t all a game. You realize she’s still talking to you so you listen. She says the meteors are making it take a bit to get home but she’ll be there soon. You had made previous arrangements that she would be staying with her step mom due to the… unconventional requirements for a game such as this. We’re gonna need more houses you think…

####  **Be someone different**

You are now a second young man.

####  **Survey your surroundings**

You seem to find yourself in a mysterious new land, some kind of large desert? You’re on top of an extremely high cliff, you can’t make out anything on the ground. You seem to be on a wide enough plateau that you have some space to work with. You seem to be down about half a house though. I guess you could say you’re… _Dwellinghalved_ … You’ll work on it.

Regardless you’re being attacked on all sides. You’re going to need something to defend yourself with… good thing you have the half with the garage.

You run to the garage and find a nearby CLAW HAMMER and equip it to your strife specibus- oh well, you were planning on using bladekind but you guess this is all you have to work with right now so FUCK IT.

####  **Assail incoming threats**

With a mighty swing of your hammer you lay a POUNDING on these monsters, you absolutely WALLOP them. They put up a good fight but you just keep the hits coming. The hits don’t STOP from keep happening… And after you kill the first one you realize you’re going to need a lot more firepower (or a more easily defensible area) you run to the garage and lock the door.

####  **What’s the other one doing**

Looks like he’s busy flipping the fuck out about all these meteors. The meteors don’t stop from keep happening it seems.

####  **Be the flippy one**

The flippy one you are.

####  **Nate: Inspect Computer Screen**

You take a look at the game screen and notice something strange. You see only half the house, but it’s not the half you’re in. Looks like your bro is safe after all. Not that you doubted that for an instant.

Looks like he’s holed up in the garage. He pulls out his phone aaaaand yup your phone is buzzing.

####  **Nate: Be pestered by the other one**

** \-- polychromeVirus  [PV]  began pestering theatricalSpectre  [TS]  \--  **

**PV: hey how are things on your end**

**TS: They're good. Where are you?**

**PV: some kind of desert place? lots of high heights, lots of monsters**

**TS: I see that, the monsters anyway, I can’t see much beyond the house though. Also, there's a bomb here, and I don't know how to defuse it.**

**PV: right so about that**

**PV: it'll be fine, we've got somewhere in the neighbourhood of 12 hours (i have a bomb too)**

**PV: you've just gotta focus on getting everyone in, i'll help you defuse it when we've made a little more progress, we don't have the shit we need**

**PV: i'm having a hard time with these monsters tbh i could use a little help so... hurry pls**

**TS: Matt! I don't want to leave something like this for later! What do we need for it so I can get started?**

**PV: you need to get the others in to defuse it! so hurry up and get lena home so we can get it defused as quickly as possible.**

**PV: i'm just as at risk as you are here, i'll be helping as much as i can with the others**

**TS: Well, it's gonna be a bit difficult with all the meteors falling everywhere... Let's just get this done**

**PV: you got this bro**

**PV: good luck**

**\-- theatricalSpectre [TS] ceased pestering polychromeVirus [PV] \-- **

Well that was a productive conversation, you guess your only hope right now is to get your server player home and hope that your bro has dealt with HER server player.

####  **Bro: Deal with server players**

Back to the garage, your current hiding spot is still being encroached upon by mysterious goblin-like creatures. You suppose they could be more imp-like? You decide to shelve that thought away for future unpacking.

Thanks to your awesome foresight (and some help from your informant) you have already been in contact with some of the other people who are to play with you and started preparations. By now two more of your friends have already entered and started playing which means that your SISTER-IN-LAW should be about ready to enter. Unfortunately according to the laws of paradoxes you’ve been informed you aren’t allowed to let anyone else play the game until she gets in, DAMN TIME RULES. Of course this is only a small setback as your client player isn’t even awake yet, one of the only perks of being on conflicting sleep schedules.

####  **So who are you?**

Now seems as good a time as any to introduce yourself:

Your name is MATT and among other things your interests include hobby-level GAME DESIGN (although you aren’t very good at it without a series of PREMADE GAME ENGINES that sometimes you perceive to be a CRUTCH), playing various VIDEO GAMES with your FRIENDS and PUTTING OFF CRITICALLY IMPORTANT TASKS. Oh what’s that? You want me to write a paper for my final exam and not doing it will fail me? IT CAN WAIT. Aside that you also have an interest in GUITAR and UKULELE and are starting to get pretty good at them! Your chumhandle is polychromeVirus and you type in a sort of chill and aloof fashion.

####  **Matt: pop out of your hiding spot and kick goblin ass!**

Hell no. There are too many of them and, as long as you’re missing half your house, there isn’t enough cover to kill them efficiently while maintaining your aliveness stat, which is kind of important to you. Your trusty FLAREON SPRITE isn’t exactly combat ready either. All you could find to throw at it was your FLAREON PLUSH that your boyfriend got you, but you were told by your INFORMANT that prototyping was very important. Flareon are strong pokemon, but regrettably it isn’t trained yet. Damn video game hooks.

Instead you opt to hang out here for a while longer, at least until you can get some backup.

####  **Alchemize better weapons**

Believe me. You’d love to cook up some brand new tools of mass ass whooping, but when you entered the game your brother was blessed with the half of the house containing the alchemiter, as well as the cruxtruder and totem lathe. You’re kind of capped in that department you’re afraid, nothing you can do about it at the moment.

####  **Pester client player**

You just said your client player is asleep, what would that accomplish? Are you some kind of weird sicko who just enjoys watching the world be ugly because you interrupted all their beauty sleep? How DARE you, you are offended at the very notion of this idea.

As you waste time thinking about this your phone buzzes

** \-- theatricalSpectre  [TS] began pestering polychromeVirus  [PV] \--  **

**TS: We've got a problem**

**PV: oh shit, what's wrong**

**TS: Dad came home, he's freaked out and he's trying to get me evacuate**

**PV: not good... just lock yourself in i guess? as long as he's on the property it shouldn't be a problem**

**PV: what's lena's status**

**TS: I think she's already in**

**PV: oh sweet, I have a message from CD so I think we should be able to get started soon, TA will let you know when the chain is complete**

**TS: Alright, hurry please**

** \-- theatricalSpectre  [TS] ceased pestering polychromeVirus  [PV] \--  **

** \-- chronologicalDiathetic  [CD] began pestering polychromeVirus  [PV] \--  **

**CD: oh my goooood you take so loooong to get in sbuuuurb**

**PV: lmao chill, i'm on my way.**

** \-- polychromeVirus  [PV] ceased pestering chronologicalDiathetic  [CD] \--  **

Good thing your client player woke up while you were talking to your bro.

While you work on getting him in you think you’ll check in on your other friends.

** \-- polychromeVirus [PV] began pestering lucrativeDepredation [LD] \-- **

**PV: hey cass**

**LD: hey**

**PV: how are things re: sburb**

**LD: things are really good! Sam's been in for a little bit I’m just kind of waiting on TA at this point**

**PV: nothing life threatening going on over there i hope?**

**LD: oh, nah. Sam was kinda touch and go there for a bit but she's good now**

**PV: oh, well.... great! I'll... see you in the medium i guess?**

**LD: Yeah!**

** \-- lucrativeDepredation  [LD] ceased pestering polychromeVirus  [PV] \--  **

** \-- polychromeVirus  [PV] began pestering loyalCompassion  [LC] \--  **

**PV: yo**

**PV: jules**

**LC: Matt!**

**PV: how goes progress on entry**

**PV: i need an eta and shit**

**LC: As fast as Sam can get me in**

**LC: I just woke up, actually**

**LC: You're not the first one to be pestering me about entry either = w =**

**LC: Though I really hope she can get me in there soon**

**LC: It's getting pretty damn dicey out there**

**LC: The birds are going WILD**

**LC: It's a cacophony of caws, screeching, and crackling fires**

**PV: oh shit really?**

**PV: fuck dude what'd you do to freak them out?**

**LC: It wasn't me!**

**LC: It's the meteors!**

**PV: i know dude i'm fucking with you**

**LC: Birds are smart creatures, they know when shit's about to hit-**

**LC: Oh.**

**PV: ...you'll make it in time right?**

**LC: He says I will**

**LC: And I trust him**

**PV: yeah well**

**PV: he's been sayin a lot of things lately**

**PV: imo maybe a bit too much but it's w/e**

**PV: he seems to know what's going on so i guess it's all i have to go off of**

**LC: I've got a pretty good feeling about it anyway!**

**PV: well i'm glad**

**LC: We can further discuss the extent of the things he's been saying once I don't have the threat of a big ol fiery rock threatening to crash down on my head = 3 =**

**PV: true.**

**PV: how have the dreams been?**

**LC: They have been strange as ever!**

**LC: Which is to say excellent!**

**LC: I mean I don’t understand some of what's in the clouds, but it makes for something to think about**

**LC: I WILL say, for future reference, be careful with the weird bug babies**

**LC: You'll see what I mean**

**LC: I should make sure I have all my stuff ready to get Lena in, too, once I finally make it into the medium**

**PV: weird bug babies...?**

**PV: does kochak have a kid or something???**

**LC: Not quite**

**PV: im so confused**

**LC: It's really weird to explain but you'll see!**

**LC: But right now there's something happening. I think Sam's got the server/client connection up because I just heard something get torn up-**

**LC: Yep**

**PV: i'll leave you to that**

**PV: good luck jules, get in safe**

**PV: but do hurry**

**LC: I will!**

**LC: See you in the medium!**

** \-- polychromeVirus  [PV] ceased pestering loyalCompassion  [LC] \--  **

Speak of the devil and he shall arrive. It’s those alien weirdos. Including... him. They can’t seem to leave you alone for 5 minutes without providing some kind of input can they? Oh well, better see what they want.

** \-- plotlineManipulator  [PM] began trolling polychromeVirus  [PV] \--  **

**PM: "Your teammates are helpless."**

**PM: "Absolute buffoons."**

**PM: "Complete and utter idiots."**

**PM: "As their leader, this is a reflection on your character as well."**

**PM: "Don't think I don't lump you in with the rest of your hornless, spineless, and apparently brainless companions."**

**PM: "Because I do."**

**PV: listen i am well aware of that**

**PV: both of those things**

**PV: i'm just a kid dude**

**PM: "Both of which things? That they're idiots and thus you're an idiot? Or that they're idiots and I lump you in with them as the leader of the idiots?"**

**PM: "Because no matter what you're all still idiots."**

**PV: all of those things**

**PV: wait, aren't you like 6**

**PM: "My age is irrelevant to this conversation."**

**PM: "However if you must know, yes."**

**PV: is it though?**

**PV: all i'm saying is "those in a glass house..."**

**PM: "My hive is not made of glass, unlike your fragile thinkpans."**

**PV: look at this loser doesn't even get metaphors**

**PM: "I understand the metaphor. I chose to ignore it in favour of an insult."**

**PV: what does it mean then?**

**PM: "Shut up."**

**PV: LOL**

**PM: "Shut up is what it means."**

**PV: like im literally loling right now you can't hear it but i am**

**PM: "Choke."**

**PM: "Anyway I was hoping to both vent my frustrations to you and to hopefully get you to realize the complete and utter stupidity of your teammates, thus whipping you into shape to get everyone organized and doing what they're SUPPOSED to be doing,"**

**PM: "But it seems all I've managed is to waste my own time, yet again. The precious few moments that I chose to spend on you lot always seem to wind up going down the proverbial time drain."**

**PV: listen, if you want me and my friends to listen to you you would do well to not be a pretentious douche about literally everything you ever say**

**PM: "I am not a pretentious douche about literally everything I say."**

**PM: "Only about 40%"**

**PV: we all understand that you know everything because ur this weird time god or whatever it is u keep drabbling on about every single time we talk ok**

**PM: "And some of that is ironic."**

**PV: but like... it's grating**

**PV: i dont think you are even capable of irony**

**PM: "What do you propose I do, scatterpan?"**

**PM: "Do you know how many loose ends there are to cut short? How many heads on the chopping block?"**

**PM: "I just want you all to live."**

**PM: "There, feelings admitted, growth happened."**

**PV: sounds like you want to live.**

**PM: "I very much want to live."**

**PV: you don't care about us. never have.**

**PM: "How would you know that?"**

**PV: am i wrong**

**PM: "Yes."**

**PV: then prove it.**

**PM: "I can't."**

**PV: then get lost word boy i'm trying to help my friends. you know? the ones you told me to lead**

**PM: "I"**

** \-- plotlineManipulator  [PM] ceased trolling polychromeVirus  [PV] \--  **

** \-- perpetualStealthmaster [PS] began trolling polychromeVirus [PV] \-- **

**PS: <.<aaaaaaaand in he slides with not a second to spare!>.> **

**PS: <.<while i'm always a fan of a good smoking crater i'm glad you're not lying in the bottom of it!>.> **

**PS: <.<PM would do an acrobatic pirouette off the handle if you were>.> **

**PS: <.<i gotta say that that was extremely well executed too>.> **

**PS: <.<of course that leaves the other human with the issue of that big old bomb in the middle of your communal living space>.> **

**PS: <.<now i'm not saying i know a lot about bombs or explosions or this game>.> **

**PS: <.<but the first two i know enough about and the last one PM is extremely well versed in>.> **

**PV: this is true**

**PV: eh, he'll be fine**

**PV: he's my bro, he's GOT this**

**PS: <.<i hope so!>.> **

**PS: <.<you know how PM can be when it comes to this stuff>.> **

**PS: <.<i don't blame him though>.> **

**PS: <.<anyway what are you hiding for?>.> **

**PS: <.<get out there and show those imps who is boss!>.> **

**PV: oh, i plan to**

**PV: slight problem with that is that my bro has the alchemiter**

**PV: these things are tough, tougher than i expected**

**PV: i gotta hold out for backup atm**

**PV: and yeah, trust me, i know ALL ABOUT how he can be**

**PS: <.<they're gonna beat down that door eventually>.> **

**PV: i know they will but i gotta hold out as long as possible! there's way too many to handle alone**

**PS: <.<when the going gets tough, improvise!>.> **

**PV: easy for you to say "improvise" when you're the one watching all this through a screen**

**PS: <.<i have had my share of breaking in, breaking out, and breaking down places>.> **

**PV: your weird alien bug places**

**PS: <.<they used to be hives>.> **

**PS: <.<now they're more>.> **

**PS: <.<well, less, i guess > v > >.> **

**PV: *shudders* hives**

**PV: man you trolls are so goddamn weird**

**PS: <.<we make perfect sense!>.> **

**PS: <.<we used to anyway>.> **

**PS: <.<then we didn't anymore>.> **

**PS: <.<but this is a moot point!>.> **

**PS: <.<and entirely unhelpful to you right now!>.> **

**PS: <.<you know i find helpful in times like these?>.> **

**PS: <.<a little bit of energetic and well-orchestrated chaos < v < >.> **

**PV: well-orchestrated chaos... hmmm...**

**PV: i guess i could make that work?**

**PS: <.<bombs away human pv!>.> **

** \-- perpetualStealthmaster [PS] ceased trolling polychromeVirus [PV] \-- **

Just as you finish up with server duties (which of course you have been doing in the background while checking in on your friends) a banging at the door reminds you of the goblins waiting outside. Seems like they’re getting antsy out there. You’re gonna need a better short term solution.

Maybe PS has the right idea here, some well-orchestrated chaos could certainly give you the upper hand…

But what… what to do...

####  **Matt: Defenestrate self**

You use your hammer to smash the window and the shards land unceremoniously in the eyeballs of a goblin, the newly blinded monster manages to walk straight off the cliff. Another small monster moves in to take its place and attempts to climb in the window. You then use this monster’s head as a stepping stool to get up on the roof as you exit the window. Man, these goblins sure make GREAT step stools!

Hmm, yeah no they definitely aren’t goblins. You’re gonna keep working on it but for now you’ll call them KOBOLDS, yes that is a much more accurate name you feel.

Anyway now you’re stuck on the roof with no safe way down, what a smart plan this was that will in no way bite you in the ass later

####  **Plan: bite you in the ass**

No! I just said it wouldn’t bite you in the ass! To renege on that promise would compromise my commitment to you as a reliable storyteller. Pfft, you think the very notion that something could go wrong, frankly, a little naive.

Looking over at the edge, you notice a couple of the kobolds have found a way up to the roof. At least you only have a couple to deal with now.

####  **[S] Matt: Engage underlings**

The house is empty. Wind skims the void of missing walls, as if grazing the hollow of a cut reed. A familiar note is produced.

Matt stands on top of the remaining half of his house, his stance unsure. One by one the monsters he has managed to avoid until now find their way onto the roof. Some climb a ladder strategically placed against the wall, one after the other, some using each other as footstools, and few attempting to climb a tree nearby the house, hoping to use it as an intermediary.

His hand grips the claw hammer he holds, as he prepares to hold them off for as long as possible.

He steps forward and kicks one of the imps off the ladder as it climbs to the top, looking down it appears to be largely unfazed by this (if a little angry). He starts to hit some of the imps that have made their way onto the roof with him with his hammer, but they don’t take very much damage at all, each hit causes an imps HEALTH VIAL to deplete by 1 point.

He manages to defeat two imps in close succession, collecting the relatively small amount of grist they dropped as a reward, by continuing to kick off the other imps attempting to join the battlefield.

Jumping around with joy he celebrates his achievement as his echeladder advances another rung. He is cut short, however, by a large shadow looming over him. He turns around to see a rather large ogre appearing over the edge of the house. In surprise he takes a step back, his foot landing on the gutter on the edge of the roof. Losing his footing he begins to fall off the roof.

The imps then begin to push him and push him until he is falling off of the cliff on which the house stands.

####  **SHOCK AND DISTRESS. I MUST EXTRICATE MYSELF FROM THE SITUATION IMMEDIATELY, WHAT’S THE OTHER ONE UP TO.**

As Nate you are too busy freaking out about the timer to be watching your bro fall off of poorly conceived battlefields. Your dad has long since given up trying to get you out, he has pretty much accepted his fate as doomed at this point, no one is getting out of town with what’s going on outside. As the timer ticks to 10 minutes you receive a message.

** \-- temporalAnomaly  [TA] began pestering theatricalSpectre  [TS] \--  **

**TA: Yo Poly's Bro, I got Cass in safely, get in here before you lose that half of the house**

** \-- temporalAnomaly  [TA] ceased pestering theatricalSpectre  [TS] \--  **

####  **[S] Nate: Enter**

** \-- theatricalSpectre  [TS] began pestering artisanalPacifist  [AP] \--  **

**TS: It's time.**

** \-- theatricalSpectre  [TS] began pestering artisanalPacifist  [AP] \--  **

In a regular suburban neighbourhood, meteors rain down. The destruction never ceasing, and never slowing down. Somewhere in the sky a much larger meteor falls to earth, on a collision course with a particular house in Florida.

Nate stands in his living room watching the timer on the bomb go down.

9:45, 9:44, 9:43

He looks outside his window, his face illuminated with a faint red glow from the fires starting outside.

The same light illuminates the back of another’s head, one who sits in front of a computer screen watching a spirograph mutate rapidly.

8:00, 7:59, 7:58

Nate lunges out of the way as couches and chairs are thrown out the window, replaced by a familiar flat platform with a strange symbol on the face. The alchemiter. A thud draws him to his window where he sees a tall tube-like construct with a valve, the cruxtruder, placed. Another loud bang from upstairs beckons him, where he sees the totem lathe has been deployed in his bedroom. On top of his head a card is dropped.

7:00, 6:59, 6:58

The cruxtruder timer shows an extra 10 minutes of leeway, currently sitting at 16:57, 16:56, 16:55.

The island that previously sat in the kitchen is thrown at the device haphazardly, causing it to burst open, releasing a glowing orb and a dowel of green substance.

Nate scurries with urgency, grabbing the dowel and bringing it to the totem lathe. While the lathe carves the dowel he runs to his desk where he grabs a frog-like coin purse and throws it at the sprite.

6:30, 6:29, 6:28

He runs the carved totem back downstairs. His dad is attempting to put out parts of the house now starting to catch on fire from the surrounding devastation, the meteor looming ever nearer. He is momentarily mesmerized by the sight.

Sitting atop the alchemiter now sits a small button, which Nate picks up and stares at for a moment. Before looking up at the bomb.

6:00, 5:59, 5:58

Nate walks toward the bomb. His neighbours continue to disappear one after the other, not to safety, but only to be replaced by an explosion and a crater. He sets the button in a slot, opposite symmetrically to another, near identical button.

5:30, 5:29, 5:28

Nate takes a deep breath, and presses it.

Then, there is only white. Somewhere in paradox space a queen removes her ring.


	2. Golden Awakening

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> PM: "So, the end of your world begins."  
> PM: "On schedule, too"

####  **Hours in the past**

A young person stands in their room, or a version of it anyway.

Today will be the day they play a game and end the world, but that time isn’t upon us just yet.

...so who are you?

####  **== >**

Your name is JULES, you are at present asleep, but that won’t stop you from introducing yourself!

You have been told you are a Mage of Heart, but aren’t quite sure what all that means just yet. Your INFORMANT should be contacting you soon before you start the game, and he might be able to shed some light on that. The people of Prospit seem to think you’re a pretty big deal though.

Your chumhandle is loyalCompassion and you type in a pleasing light blue.

####  **Look around room**

Looking around your room you notice first the LIGHT BLUE wallpaper, you never put it there, but it has been there for you as long as you have been there for you! which is forever!

You also have various indications of your INTERESTS that you are quite sure anyone spectating all this would find quite useful to find some idea of your lifestyle.

Your room is, in a word, “MESSY”. scattered on the walls you have your various CANVASES and ART PROJECTS, some bearing the image of you or your friends. You are constantly trying to hone your craft, but you would never sell these for money , they’re just practice! Your best work is yet to come.

Scattered all over the floor is various pieces of SHEET MUSIC, some HAND CRAFTS, the ART SUPPLIES with which you PAINT YOUR MASTERPIECES, and a number of BOOKS you pulled off your bookshelf, mostly of the FANTASY variety.

####  **Jules: Examine the clouds**

Unfortunately Prospit’s moon just left Skaia’s atmosphere, you’ve already seen a great many things in the clouds, you can’t wait till you wake up so you can discuss your dreams with your friends and hopefully gain a little clarity…

For now you’ve just been enjoying the view of the city. Prospit always was beautiful this time of year, which is to say all times always.

####  **Go down and play with the carapacians**

You fly out the window. From here you can see 3 towers separate from the one you found yourself in, home to your friend and a couple people you don’t recognize, you sure are excited to meet them though! No time for that today you are afraid, that would fuck up the pacing you mean you wouldn’t get back in good time.

Yeah, that’s it.

As you reach the bottom of your tower you are met with a particularly lively carapacian, it seems the last thing he expected today was to meet with ROYALTY. You assure him that’s not what you are but he is having none of it.

After lots of unnecessary bowing, the prostrate carapaction begs you to sign his uniform before you leave. You begrudgingly oblige. These people sure are goddamn weird.

####  **Take in the city**

You find yourself in a street of gold, lined with nothing but beautiful arches and tall buildings, all of it with a strange gothic-style architecture and appearing the same gold colour.

Many of the bustling carapacians are too busy to notice you, but you can feel a lot of heads turn regardless. Maybe coming out here wasn’t a great idea.

####  **Retreat**

Yeah, you could use some time to yourself you think, you decide to head to your SECRET CAVE, which is just a fancy way to say a place you found that no one else knows about.

You take a lot of back roads to shake any potential prying eyes, but eventually resolving that no one is following you, you begin the long walk.

####  **== >**

You only settle down once you are finally sitting on it, the hard stone providing some strange sense of comfort. You were surprised when you first found it, but since no one seems to know it’s here you thought you’d use it to get some alone time and hide if necessary.

Something about this places feels strangely… familiar. You can’t shake the feeling that you’ve been here before, many times even. It’s also got a sense of finality about it, like this is a place of endings. None of that really bothers you though, you’re used to inherited memory and deja vu, that comes with the territory, or so you’ve been told. There is but one thing that bothers you about this place:

The large heart symbol engraved on the slab’s face.

####  **Hours in the future**

(but not many) a young woman rushes to disappearify her house before the encroaching fire does.

####  **Have you considered using a fire extinguisher?**

Oh wow no you didn’t. Hold on, you’ll just go grab your fire extinguisher and douse the entire fucking forest. Nothing could possibly go wrong.

Any other bright ideas?

####  **If you enter the medium you can escape the flames!**

You would almost call that a great idea, if that wasn’t what you were presently attempting to do.

But it is so you don’t call it a great idea. Even if it was also the idea you had, and it was great when you came up with it. Take that, voice in your head.

Anyway you suppose you should apprise the readers of the situation.

Your name is S- OHFUCK.

As you go to introduce yourself you hear an explosion outside, it seems the fire got to the gas canisters you keep loaded up in case the illuminati finally decide to take over… it could happen.

Anyway there’s a pretty huge chunk out of your garage now that you check. And it looks like it killed a cat that was hiding out there. Poor guy.

####  **Prototype the cat**

What? Are you crazy? Listen, you feel bad for the little guy but you already prototyped your sprite once. Granted, it was with an 8-ball that you broke a week ago when its constant lies finally got to you.

Unfortunately for you it seems your server player feels a little more strongly about it, as you see it lifted into the air without even the aid of your WHITE MAJYYKS and launched itself at the sprite, which didn’t even so much as inch slightly away from it, unlike earlier when you were hurling everything in your room at it only for it to dodge with the agility of 1,000 combined Rocky Balboa’s after all their respective training montages. Damn Rocky Sprite.

In honour of this you are naming the cat Rocky. There. It’s done. That’s his name now.

####  **Since you’re so smart, what next?**

Well, you’re gonna need to make that artifact that you saw on the card your SERVER PLAYER deployed, you’ve heard Matt and Jules’ informant talk about some of this stuff in passing, and you think you’ve got a pretty good idea what to do.

####  **== >**

You gather the cruxite, and get everything together before creating your ultimate prize! A ball of ya-

OH FUCK GOD DAMMIT ROCKY STOLE THE ARTIFACT

Where’s that sprite running off to…

####  **Looks like your back grassy area.**

Oh shit he’s in the backyard? Oh shit. Ohhhh shit.

This wouldn’t really be as big of a problem if everything surrounding it wasn’t on fire right now.

You guess you better go after it, you need that yarn dammit!

####  **Go after it!**

After making your way as efficiently as possible through your house you find yourself at your backyard and boy, is it a mess.

Your house backs onto the forest as previously implied, but you still have a few neighbours so your backyard is segmented. Well, you DID have neighbours anyway, you’re not sure anyone is living in THOSE houses anytime soon.

Anyway, that’s a really long way to say branches from neighbouring trees have been shaking loose, you’re still safe from the fire though, for now.

In the very middle, cuddled up against a log that appears to have fallen off one of your neighbours trees, you see ROCKYSPRITE.

####  **Wait, what about Jules?**

Ah, you have a fine eye for dramatic timing, I like it.

Jules is currently chilling in their room, keeping an anxious eye on the ever looming threat of meteors.

But the Jules we left was a couple hours in the past, and they’re just getting back to their room right about now.

####  **Jules: Wake up**

You are feeling mighty tired right about now, you decide maybe a nap is in order, all that carapacian attention really takes it out of you you know? Of course because this is Prospit, going to bed is essentially the equivalent of waking up.

Just as soon as you lay down in bed you awake in your real bedroom. Of course, you’ve had a much more nuanced control over your dreamself for a while, you can usually switch consciousness pretty much whenever, but you find it much safer to do so in a bed.

Anyway, taking stock of your situation you notice that you have been pestered relentlessly. Oh, it’s your INFORMANT, this guy can be kind of an asshole, but you think somewhere deep down he has a nice side! You just have a feeling about it.

####  **Jules: Be trolled**

**\--plotlineManipulator [PM] began trolling loyalCompassion [LC]\--**

**PM: "So, the end of your world begins."**

**PM: "On schedule, too, which could be considered a convenience if it wasn't already a guarantee that was painstakingly planned."**

**PM: "The timeframe which you have is far smaller than you think. A few hours is nothing compared to what's to come, so I suggest you prepare yourself for that."**

**PM: ". . ."**

**PM: "You're asleep again, aren't you?"**

**PM: "Your entire world is going horns up and your choice method of preparing is to have a nap."**

**PM: "There are very few people who know better than you and I what happens once this game is initiated and still you think 'well this seems like the perfect time to have a little snooze by the meteor light!' "**

**PM: "I don't think I should need to remind you how incredibly important it is that you DON'T DIE, a reminder that YOU YOURSELF have tasked me with giving you."**

**PM: "I would prefer not to have to cut this loose end short too."**

**PM: "So stop fooling around with Prospit and stick with the incredibly important plan that, again, YOU helped make!"**

**LC: Oh hey!**

**LC: Haha, shit, dude, if you knew I was asleep why'd you put a whole wall of text?**

**LC: Were you just going to keep going until I woke up?**

**PM: "If I had to."**

**LC: I'm up now!**

**PM: "Clearly."**

**LC: So no worries!**

**PM: "I am not worried for your sake, believe me."**

**PM: "I'd just rather not have to throw this whole thing in, again."**

**LC: I have zero idea what that means but you won't have to! I have to wait for my . . . server player to connect me, right?**

**PM: "Yes. Then you will be able to get yourself into the medium, which we've discussed before."**

**LC: So my house isn't going to be blown to smithereens by a meteor?**

**PM: "If everything goes right, no."**

**PM: "You really do need someone to hold your hand through all of this, don't you?"**

**LC: Well, no, it's just that I was watching the clouds again on Prospit, and I saw an image of a big old smoking crater where my house used to be**

**LC: It's a little unnerving to think about, honestly.**

**PM: "Follow the example of your friends and try not to think too much."**

**LC: Harsh = ^ =**

**PM: "You are aware of what happens when you enter the game right? Your house will be long gone by the time the meteors have their way with your human 'neighbourhood'."**

**LC: You're sure?**

**PM: "Positive."**

**PM: "..."**

**PM: "What else did you see?"**

**LC: It's not much else. I remember a bright light, and a hole in the sky**

**LC: That's not even the weirdest bit**

**LC: I remember seeing some weird lab, all super advanced tech and stuff, and a bunch of babies and baby-sized insectoid creatures?**

**PM: "Good, everything should go according to plan."**

**PM: "I still maintain that humans being in charge of the grubs is strange. You wouldn't know what to do with one wriggler, let alone ten."**

**LC: There were way more than ten of them there, but they were kind of charmingly cute? In a weird interspecies "yeah you're aliens but you're still babies and pretty harmless and thus kind of adorable" way**

**LC: Then again humans will pack bond with pretty much anything we can, so = u =**

**PM: "Wait."**

**PM: "There were more than ten?"**

**PM: "There shouldn't have been more than ten."**

**PM: "How many were there?"**

**LC: Uh**

**LC: I don't know for sure?**

**LC: If I had to guess, fourteen maybe?**

**PM: "That's not right."**

**PM: "You're positive?"**

**LC: You seem really freaked out over this, are you okay?**

**PM: "Contact me when you get into the medium."**

**\--plotlineManipulator [PM] gave up trolling loyalCompassion [LC]\--**

Ominous… You sure hope he’s ok. You’re not sure why he’s so freaked, they’re just weird insect babies after all!

Before you go to make your final preparations you look out the window. It’s still far away, but you can see something heading straight for your house.

####  **Other one: Chase Rockysprite**

There he is, the smug fuck, chilling out next to a log as if the entire world WASN’T ending around him. You envy his confidence, or perhaps it is naivete? Either way, you wish you were able to frolic around, unconcerned by the imminent demise looming above your head.

To say you had better ideas for how to spend your day is an understatement. Chasing a weird cat/8ball abomination around to get some yarn isn’t exactly how you imagined the end of the world, but yet here you are.

Your backyard is strangely unharmed. The fire from the forest and neighbouring houses threatens to break the seal but hasn’t yet. Aside from a decent chunk of your garage, the house to this point has remained unscathed, and you’d like to keep it that way.

In the interest of this, you run out into the backyard.

####  **== >**

What you didn’t expect however, was a particularly large branch to fall off of one of the trees and hit you right in the head. That would just be absurd, why would you expect that?

In the end it makes sense, what with all the tree shaking going on out here. This is a pretty dangerous area and you should have been more cautious you think. You also think that maybe rushing outside during this wasn’t the smartest plan of attack. As you think all this your vision starts fading, and you can see ROCKYSPRITE nuzzling against the ball of yarn.

Then it’s black.

####  **== >**

When you come to you don’t feel the weight of the branch that landed on you, you don’t feel the heat of the fire, and you don’t see it’s light either. Wherever you are is quite dark actually.

You start to wonder if maybe you’re dead. That seems reasonable you think since now that you are opening your eyes and looking around, this looks _kind of_ like your room, but with a soft lavender wallpaper, and outside the window is what appears to be a dark castle of some kind?

Wait, is there someone sitting in the window sill? It’s hard to say, your vision is fading again. You can sort of make out the form of someone wearing some kind of… purple pyjamas? Tacky tbh. It looked kind of like… Matt?

Before you can fully process this startling revelation, you’re awake again.

####  **Catch up with Rockysprite**

Well you would but your nap wasn’t as short as you’d like it to be. Your backyard is now a hellscape, congratulations!

Some of the nearby trees have caught fire and their branches fallen into the yard, some of the grass is burning, but you’ve never been particularly good at upkeep, so the large areas where the grass stopped growing impedes its spread.

Rocky, being the fearless bastard he is, hasn’t moved.

You start making your way to him, being careful of the fire on your way, and surprisingly, Rocky lets you pick up the yarn ball. Success!

####  **Bring it back to safety**

You start to walk away with the ball and Rocky snatches it from you in a blur.

Now young cat, that is VERY RUDE. Hand that thing over THIS INSTANT. YOU MEAN IT.

...It’s no use, he isn’t budging.

####  **Here’s a thought: Try again, but this time faster**

You grab it but you only get a couple steps away before rocky tries to grab it back. He has a particularly good grip on it, but you won’t let go. This is your destiny dammit, YOU WILL HAVE THIS YARN BALL IF IT’S THE LAST THING YOU DO.

Unfortunately it’s looking increasingly likely that it will be.

YOU STILL WON’T LET GO DAMMIT.

####  **Phone: ring**

Momentarily distracted by an incoming message, you lose your grip on the yarn, and Rocky returns to his hiding place.

This isn’t good, the apocalypse only gets closer, and it waits for no cat!

You quickly check who was messaging you… Oh great, this guy. This guy is kind of an asshole, but he rarely talks to anyone but Jules and Matt unless it’s important.

What does he want?

** \-- plotlineManipulator  [PM] began trolling delightfulLuminary  [DL] \-- **

**PM: "Since your teammates have made it apparent that you all need to have your hands held throughout this entire process, I have taken the liberty of checking up on you."**

**PM: "This was a wise decision on my part, since here you are, fucking up in every way imaginable."**

**PM: "Here I thought problem solving was something you pride yourself on, so why aren't you doing it?"**

**PM: "If it wasn't already apparent, your life is currently in danger of not existing anymore. Stop wasting what precious time you have playing games with your sprite!"**

**PM: "Believe me, if it wasn't for my own existence hanging in the balance here, I would be incapable of caring less about your stupid quest of determination against a being that is both wiser and more stubborn than you can ever hope to be."**

**PM: "But seeing as how you can't quite grasp the fact that you'll die if you keep this up, I apparently am required to give you a good hard verbal shove in the right direction."**

**PM: "Thus, here I am."**

**PM: "Telling you to stop trying to take the yarn."**

**PM: "Because you are wasting time and will die."**

**PM: "Painfully."**

**PM: "In a fire."**

**PM: "So for the sake of everyone involved, as well as the migraine I have that seems to grow exponentially with every interaction I'm forced to make with your team,"**

**PM: "Figure another way out."**

**DL: Okay, geez. = n =**

** \-- plotlineManipulator  [PM] gave up trolling delightfulLuminary  [DL] \-- **

 

\-- delightfulLuminary  [DL] began pestering lucrativeDepredation  [LD] \--

DL: Help :C

DL: I have to get this yarn but Rocky isn't letting me take it

DL: and the mean troll told me to figure out another way but I don't know what I'm supposed to do

LD: Why not just mess with it there? Once you're done you should be in the clear anyway right?

DL: OH YEAH

DL: What am I supposed to do with it though?

LD: ...What do you normally do with tangled balls of yarn?

DL: AEKFHGAKEFNB YOU'RE RIGHT

DL: THANKS CASS LOVE YOU <333

\-- delightfulLuminary  [DL] ceased pestering lucrativeDepredation  [LD] \--

Once again the wise words of your server player have broken your puzzle-solvers block! Sometimes all it takes to solve something is a simple change of perspective. Although you aren’t entirely sure what you’re doing right now could be considered a “puzzle” per se. You’ll simply figure out the mystery of the yarn here! In your… burning yard… surrounded by fire….

What could go wrong?

####  **Back to the future**

(But not the movie) Jules prepares to enter the game. Outside, the lovely corvid birds of the neighbourhood elevate their song to a cacophonous screeching, and fires begin to crackle around your house. The real danger comes from above however, as you a large meteor bears down on your current position

####  **== >**

You find yourself being pestered by Matt! Always glad to hear from him. Unfortunate that the circumstances couldn’t be better but you’re waiting for a connection from your server anyway, and the meteor is still a ways off.

We’ve already read [ this ](https://pastebin.com/raw/GgEPbrfZ) pesterlog but Jules is experiencing it for the first time. So we’ll let them have their fun.

Hmm. Yes. Yes I see. Hmm. Yup, they’re both typing away alright.

So now I guess you and I just wait for something to happen? Hopefully that doesn’t take too long…

####  **Server Connection: Establish**

A loud sound momentarily rouses you from your conversation. It looks like your bed had to be moved to the roof to make room for the alchemiter, and the crows are having their way with your bed! You guess that tearing sound was your sheets. You liked those! You like crows but this crosses a few lines.

####  **== >**

Looking over at where the cruxtruder was deployed it looks like a hole got ripped in the wall. You momentarily consider pestering Sam to be more careful, but before you get the chance your bed is being banged against the cruxtruder to open it. You guess that’s one way to get it back inside the house… You’re still not happy about this arrangement though.

####  **Initiate wanton misuse of surroundings**

You consider how to even execute such a thing. You don’t really have many surroundings left to misuse.

Then you realize that command must have been for Sam because she drops your bed to keep it from getting prototyped accidentally. You think this is fair as the LAST thing you need is a BEDSPRITE running around.

####  **== >**

Oh no, those crows do NOT like the kernelsprite ONE BIT. You would try to reason with them but birds can be kind of ornery, far be it from you to stop them if it’s keeping them distracted.

I think you can see where this is going.

####  **Jules: Complete preparation**

Without much trouble you get together the necessary materials for your grand entrance. Really, you’re not sure why anyone would have trouble with it? It’s pretty simple. Take the card, make the thing. Then use the item. You get the funny feeling you’re missing a step somewhere. You’re sure it’s not important though.

You take your cruxite artifact, a long and thin stick; the ends of which spontaneously combusted shortly after creation. This is a scene you’ve seen in the clouds many times, so you think you know what to do here.

You go to break the stick over your knee.

####  **Wait, what about the sprite**

Oh that, you saw that in the clouds too. By now one of the crows will have prototyped itself. You aren’t super worried about this though, you like crows! You’re sure this won’t bite you in the ass later down the road. How could it?

You break the stick over your knee, and the scene outside your window changes.

 

Looks like you’re in the shit now mage.

 


	3. The Breeze

####  **[S] Chapter 3**

An unidentified migrant stands atop the purple remains of an ancient building, covered in runes of tortoises. His scarf blows in the wind and covers the lower half of his face. The windows logo shines from the face of his goggles.

The ruins on which he stands lie in the middle of a large dune of sand. around him there are huge towering cliffs, and scattered in the sand are more purple ruins and some wrecked ships.

: LAND OF GUST AND DRIFT :

The Unidentified Migrant’s VEHICACHE slides into view, and he takes out the only item currently sitting in it: the Extreme Gear. He rides the floating board at high speed down a pillar from the ruins that has fallen over. As he rides he pulls out a long and thin pointed sword with a fat base. Wind skims the holes in the base. A familiar note is produced.

In the distance there is a group of underlings, and he changes his course slightly to head towards them.

Riding right past an ogre, he creates a huge gash with his sword. As he passes he then perforates 3 imps as they get in his way and come back around, slashing at the ogre again on his way. All of them exploding into heaps of grist. He feels something grab at his leg and notices one of the imps managed to grab hold of the Extreme Gear while he was stabbing its friends. He turns around and kills it with a strong downward thrust.

While he isn’t paying attention, the board catches on another ruined pillar partially submerged in sand and sends the boy flying. He lands face down in the sand. His goggles light up immediately.

####  **== >**

\-- viciousPesce [ VP ] began trolling theatricalSpectre [ TS ] --

VP: ~~ ♒o♒, you really ate shit ~~

VP: ~~ this is absolutely going in my cringe compilation ~~

\-- viciousPesce [ VP ] ceased trolling theatricalSpectre [ TS ] --

 

\-- artisanalPacifist [ AP ] began pestering theatricalSpectre [ TS ] --

AP: Hey, any luck finding Matt yet?

TS: No. All I found was some asshole troll. Has your sprite told you anything useful?

AP: As if, all I've gotten out of it so far is some bullshit riddles.

AP: It keeps trying to convince me to go outside, but I want to wait for you because these imps are cute and I don't want to kill them :c

TS: Have you TRIED dealing with them peacefully? I'll get there as soon as I can but maybe exploring in the meantime would be of more use than just waiting around.

AP: :c

AP: :c

AP: ...fine

\-- artisanalPacifist [ AP ] ceased pestering theatricalSpectre [ TS ] --

####  **AP: Deal with them peacefully**

You are now the other one. You find yourself in your kitchen. Having just gotten off the phone with your HUSBAND, you now direct your undivided attention to the imp creature you have tied to a chair in the middle of the kitchen. Since you managed to stop him from destroying the place, you’re NOT QUITE SURE what to do next. You were PLANNING to wait around for your husband to find a way to….. wherever you are, but it looks like that plan is put on hold indefinitely. Guess you have to go out and do stuff. Whatever. You suppose there is a nonzero chance that trying to get the imp to help you would work, but you decide to come back to that a LITTLE LATER.

####  **AP: Commence Introduction**

You decide that before you commit to a course of action you should introduce yourself! Your name is LENA, you have a passion for FASHION, and refuse to be seen unless you fit your own standards of PRESENTABLE which tends to be QUITE HIGH. You also quite enjoy COSPLAY, and even plan to start a cosplay shop one day… or you did anyway. You enjoy SANDBOX type video games such as THE SIMS and tend to embroil yourself in INTERNET DRAMA a little more than may be healthy.

You also HAVE A HARD TIME HURTING THINGS which is why you’re struggling with the early game here. Nonetheless your Dad keeps this placed stocked pretty well with any weapons you might need.

You type in a sort of cool relaxed fashion, and prefer a mustard yellow.

####  **Lena: Step out of your shell**

Well, there’s not much to get done in here. You can’t exactly go on an alchemy binge without gathering a little grist. Nate has been sending some your way, but he hasn’t exactly been raking it in and the transfer rate is slow. So you guess you’ll just grab a weapon and head out there. But which weapon will you grab… hmm… Decisions decisions decisions…….

####  **Lena: Assign strife specibus**

Oh yeah, you forgot about that thing. Actually your Dad made you set it years ago, something about making sure you could protect yourself. It all seemed like a lot of hot air at the time, it still sort of does since it limits your choices considerably. Oh well, at least he has one of these in the house.

You sure are glad this is a visual medium otherwise any readers would be rightfully confused by that last paragraph. No one would have any idea what kind of weapon you are holding. An idea you find, frankly, a little silly. Surely no one could mistake one of these babies!

####  **So what is it then?**

It looks like a big glowy spirograph in the sky.

What? That’s confusing you say?

Why would it be confusing? We last left Nate out in the wilderness looking for that very thing, of COURSE that’s what he would find right about now.

It’s big and it’s green. Your sprite told you about this, the gates. He said this is what you should look for to get to Lena. You still haven’t found your brother yet, but that might have to wait a bit longer. It would be easier to look with another pair of eyes regardless.

There’s only one problem. It’s up at the top of this mountain, and you’re here at the base.

####  **Nate: Get climbing.**

You consider this for half a moment before you realize that the wall is really too steep. There’s no way for you to climb up, safely or otherwise.

You’re not really sure what the intended method is to get up there! It’s like you would have to fly or something. And last you checked you couldn’t achieve flight. Just sort of… hover an inch or two above the ground with your super air skateboard.

You dont think your Extreme Gear is made for vertical surfaces either now that you think of it. You are honestly stumped.

####  **Nate: Ascend**

You don’t know anything about this “ascend business” but you do take a step off your Extreme Gear. Looking up from your position of deep thought you realize you have found yourself in a consort village and the cliff is nowhere to be seen.

In fact, looking around there are NO mountains, just a bright blue sky and a bunch of steep drop offs.

You look behind you and realize that you are suddenly at the top! The board you stepped off of moments ago, floating in front of you haphazardly, starts to drift off and you grab it quickly, throwing it back into the depths of your VEHICACHE. WHEW, you’re not sure what you would do if you had lost that. Still this presents more questions than it answers as you’re pretty sure you didn’t do that.

Pretty sure. But you’ve been wrong before…

Anyway the gate is still pretty far above you, so now you need to figure out a way up to it...

####  **Nate: Interact with the locals**

Actually, you’d rather not. You’ve spoken with PLENTY of these lizard guys to give you a pretty good idea of the local lore and whatnot, and you’re kind of in a rush. It seems that there used to be lots of communication pathways between the mountains or “islands” as they were called. But some major event in the last little while stranded a large portion of the population way down in the canyons, and a pretty bad famine wiped out the food sources of the remaining consorts.

You know all of this because you know to gather intelligence in a game like this. You’re sure this all leads to a pretty simple conclusion that you should have figured out by now, but you’re a little preoccupied at the moment.

####  **Lena: Continue exploration effort**

Stepping outside of your house you are met with a dense forest.

The trees are taller than anything you’ve ever seen before, and create a large CANOPY above you. You listen for signs of life but can’t hear anything over the din of the near constant RAIN. It’s light for now, but you get the feeling that it only gets worse. You wish you had worn something that would keep you dry better.

Looking around you don’t see much movement, even the imps don’t seem very active around here. Explains why you only managed to find one.

:LAND OF CANOPY AND RAIN:

####  **== >**

Cautiously, you take a few steps outside. You take in the beautiful scenery around you an-

THUD. It sounds like something HUGE landed right behind you.

what in the goddamn.

####  **== >**

You turn around slowly in some misguided hope that maybe if you don’t make any sudden moves you won’t anger whatever beast it surely was that landed so unceremoniously behi- oh it’s dead.

Looks to be an ogre variant. Aaaand it’s blocking the front door. Nice.

####  **Be filled with pride for the humans**

You are filled with swelling pride for Lena, why not 5 minutes ago she was afraid to go outside and now look at her!

Look at the way she uselessly attempts to push that unconscious ogre out of the entrance to her hive. You would almost think she is under the impression that it’s dead or something. But that’s silly, the humans are much more competent than that!

####  **And the other one too!**

Yes, Nate is doing such a good job!

He found the second gate very quickly! He still seems to be having trouble getting up to it though. This wouldn’t be a problem if it was just a little bit later… Oh well, time is a fickle bitch after all!

####  **Isn’t that “life is a fickle mistress”?**

Yeah right, life is a fickle bitch too, so is light. But mostly time, time is an **especially** fickle bitch.

####  **Lena: Back to the issue at hand**

What do you mean? You never stopped focusing on this issue. You’ve been pushing against this ogre’s giant carcass for at least a couple minutes now. Just enough time for some other being to have a momentary interlude you think. You’re not sure why you think this.

Maybe it’s time for a new plan of attack, you were going to explore anyway, might as well deal with this when you come back.

####  **== >**

You think you hear a noise a little ways in the distance, it doesn’t sound like imps so you decide to go towards it, you know, like a white girl in a horror movie.

There’s no way this could go wrong.

####  **== >**

And it doesn’t! At least… not yet.

As you push through the brush you find yourself in another clearing, this one smaller than the one your house is in.

Wait what in the fuck damn is going on in here???

####  **Lena: Flip the fuck out**

As you step into the clearing you notice 2 things.

The first is the absolute sea of grist you walked right into. You can feel your grist cache start to fill up just standing here! What could possibly have created all this grist?

Well, as it turns out that is the second thing you notice: A very familiar looking boy standing in the middle of the clearing, covered in mud, and holding two swords that look to be very sharp and thin bones of some kind… is that…?

####  **== >**

LENA: Matt!?

LENA: What the fuck are you doing here? Nate’s been looking for you for hours!

MATT: uh, well. it’s a pretty long story, i’ll fill you in when nate gets here, just suffice to say i lost my phone and was sort of stuck on my own for a while.

MATT: speaking of, can i use your alchemiter i need to make a new phone and shit.

LENA: Matt. We were afraid you died! How did you even get here?

MATT: the same way nate’s gonna get here, through the gate. now can i get a new phone or something we gotta tell him to get his ass over here we’ve got shit to do.

LENA: Actually... he’s already on his way! He spoke with Max and found out about the gate and he’s been looking for it ever since.

MATT: ...

MATT: his sprite is max?

MATT: ...

MATT: like our dead dog max?

LENA: That’s the one.

MATT: ........................huh

LENA: So does that mean... you’re the one that killed this thing?

MATT: oh, hun, that ogre in front of your house is still alive.

MATT: i hit it pretty hard so it’s probably in one hell of a coma right now but, trust me, it’s still hecks of alive.

####  **[S] == >**

A flash of light from above the house catches both Lena and Matt’s attention.

Above the house Nate falls from one of the gates, he rides his EXTREME GEAR down the sloped roof of the house, and landing on top of the sleeping ogre in front of the house, waking it up.

Nate gives it a couple slashes as he rides by, the ogre, looking hurt by the hits, manages to knock Nate off his board, and he lands a few feet away on his back.

The ogre takes a step to step on Nate but is knocked over by a sudden strong gust of wind. Matt runs in and stabs the ogre in the eyes while Lena helps Nate up.

After he gets up, Nate attacks the ogre with a shout of rage and finishes it. Causing it to explode into various types of grist.

####  **== >**

NATE: Hey

MATT: sup


End file.
